i guess i dont feel anything now.
gan jue hao xiang dan diao le.
i no longer get nervous or excited when i see him.
nor i feel super scared when i sit beside him.
LOLS.

ohwell.
i think things are better this way.
then i dont need to worry so much.
dont need to get nervous over certain things.
and most imptly.
i feel much comfortable when im with him now.
not like last time. HAHS.

i shall search for another one soon.
wonder if my taste would change. LOLS.

sch seriously sucks.
cos i dont like my chem teacher.
she's super duper naggy.
and she scolds us over small lil' things.
for eg. we forgot that even though it's bio STAR today.
we have a phy lecture going on.
so a few days before, she made an apptment w/ eugene/les&junfei.
and we only rmb tt we had lect during STAR until mr oh reminded us ytd.
so eugene told her abt this matter ytd.
and today, she came into our class and started scolding us for this.
for not telling her tt we got lect. during STAR.
damndamn her. she sucks so much.
ugh. im so so so angry.

pe was very satisfactory.
cos i've got a sense of accomplishment.
and 2s05 girls rocks man. esp nicole.
we have a very good team leader! =D
and we own our success mainly becos of her.
so overall. today's PE was FUN! =D
i dont mind doing more of this.
only tt i wont wear this stupid restriction shorts agn.
it restricts my movements.
and i cant run properly.
and if i do run properly, my shorts would become shorter and shorter.
ugh. so irritating. HAHS.

ah dern was super lucky during econs tut today.
cos he forgot to bring his tut book.
then it was like super funny lah.
mrs sim was gg about to check our ans.
when she was at shane's there, shane started asking qns.
and ah dern was just 3seats away from shane.
and he started gg like 'ohshit,ohshit,im gg to die' x infinity times.
afterwhich, after replying shane's qns, someone else asked her smthing too.
so she stopped at shane there and went off.
it's like he super super lucky lah. LOLS.
ohwell. in short, today is a lucky day for him. seriously lucky.

maths tut was a bit siao.
cos of 'AWWA'.
i seriously think he has some mental disorder.
he suddenly laughs very loudy when there's nth to luahg abt.
and i always end up laughing like an idiot cos i think he's siao.
and today junfei told AWWA he threw away all his JC1 tutorials.
we were like so shocked like.
and AWWA said he was a GUNDO. LOLS.
i think so too.
where got ppl throw away their tuts de.
this incident has further supported my assumption.
he is one eccentric person.
i just cant stand him.
he seems to be living in his own world! GOSH!

okok.
i hate next mon.
besides chem lect test.
i have phy quiz on E.Field too. T.T
i dont understand anything on E.Field.
and my fate lies with tml's last consultation before the quiz.
i dont wanna fail. T.T

NUS talk today.
me&ahli was super demoralised.
we dont know how we are gg to fare if we cont' with J2.
cos it seems we are not prepared to take up the challenge.
sigh. i just dont know how.
i wanna retain, but it seems tt there's many things holding me back.
will someone just guide me thru'.
im so so L-O-S-T. =((

ohyah!
im gg to do some baking of cookies soon!
yayy!!!!!! =D

Labels: cute cute boyboy. =D

im having a freaking painful stomach cramp! T.T
sobbs. i cant sit nor stand str8.
i've lost my appetite the whole day.
(p/s-good chance of losing weight)
but i dont want.
it's so painful tt im just gg to cry any moment.
SOBBS. T.T
the panadols didnt help a single bit at all. T.T
and i dont think i can survive thru' the night.
save me someone!?

im feeling very damn moody now.
in the freakiest mood u could ever think of.

started becoming moody after choir.
idk why. but i just felt so so so so so sad.
was on the verge of crying.
prolly it's all the stress piling up.
plus some stuffs boiling inside me.
and the struggles which im having.
-sigh-

secrets secrets secrets.
they make my life so miserable.
sobbs. T.T
this seriously sucks. T.T

p/s: dont be shock to see me blog like this this yr.
i might be doing this quite often.
im seriously just too freaking unhappy with myself and my life.

if only i could do whatever i want.
and say whatever i want.

i need lots of courage.
and confidence.
and happiness.
cos i dont like the present me now.
this seriously sucks.

Labels: this is so ugh.

i was super duper suay today lah.
idk what happened to me.
but i rmbed v clearly when i flipped thru' my organiser last nite.
i swear i didnt see that there was chem tut today.
all i saw was:
pe/break/phy lect/econs tut/lunch/maths tut/star/CT.

i didnt see the slot for chem tut lorh.
so i took out the file which i kept all my chem stuffs.
in the end i had to stand for like 1hr.
and the bending of my back for 1hr is seriously not good for our backs.
ugh. the thought of it makes me so worried.
cos i dont want my back to go wrong when i grow old. =((

then it's like i always bring the chem stuffs regardless if theres chem or not.
and suay suay today. i decided to take it out.
ohman. im super duper suay today.
even forgot my phy tb! could u believe it?!
and for once i didnt even bother to do econs tut.
not exactly didnt bother.
but i was knocked out cold when i got home frm sch last night.
and i woke up to find myself with my econs tut not done. T.T
but at least econs tut went smoothly for me.

maths quiz was disastrous.
cos i had one freaking careless mistakes n tt cost me 3marks!
UGH. so angry man. im gg to fail. ohno. =((

me&peili are becoming 'stupidier' this year. T.T
this is super demoralising.

and 11rounds of running sucks. =X

Labels: suay suay day.

had a very good laugh twice today.
firstly was the moot court in the morning.
i couldnt stop laughing cos' of gary&nicole&ali&brandon.
it's like me&peili was observing gary.
then his actions are super funny. and he laughs weirdly too.
and peili says he looks like chipmunk. *hmmm*
i have violent objections regarding tt.
cos chipmunks are super duber cute! =D
i love my chip n dale. hehs.
then nicole was like telling ali 'whr are u FACTS?! show me ur FACTS!'
then zc went like 'ALI! show ur FATS to her!'
then everyone started laughing like mad.
then the stupid judge-brandon.
so scared of nicole. LOLS.

then the 2nd high tide was during&after choir.
idk why but we started laughing.
oh yah i rmbered!!!!!!!
cos there was this J1 guy singing to very the NOT OFF PITCH.
then we were trying to control our laughter.
in the end we all couldnt take it.
and we started laughing after this J1 girl started laughing.
then the principal came to hear us sing.
then i was like trying to control my laughter.
due to some own joke we had earlier on.

then the 3rd high third was after choir.
accompanied xh to wait for weiting.
xh went crazy over FOOD.
tried doing our revision+hw.
but we got distracted halfway.
so i shall say this agn.
"SU- what -HAI- what- de- LAH!' XD
own joke own joke. LOLS.
stayed till 7plus then went home with xin.
it's seriously a LONG day today.
but fun anw. so it's alright.

i've got maths test tml.
im gg to die and fail real badly. T.T
and i have not done econs yet. T.T'
idk how to do. ltr she call me i DIE. D-I-E.
sobbs.

Labels: excited. happy. fun. secrets.

i passed my first phy test of year 2008! LOLS.
that's smthing great to celebrate for.
cos' i think frm last yr till nw, i hardly pass any phy test! =X
but i think it's becos' the qns they set are seriously easy.
cos' it's like today's phy STAR, we did thermal phy qns.
then i was like 'omy. wth is this qns talking abt?!'
OOPS. so that means MORE phy consultation.

actually although tues is a LONG day.
but i like it anw. cos' there's no econs tut & pe! hehs.
chem pract/chem tut/maths lect/econs lect/star is fine with me!
im so dreading thurs frm the start of 2008.
LONG DAY TILL 5pm/econs tut/PE!!!!!!! T.T
this is so so so so not good. tsktsk.

ohyah.
im so proud of 1SR guy. LOLS.
so gentlemanly. unlike SOME guy with the initials 'P'.
im so freaking angry thinking abt what P guy did.
anw. this SR guy. idk his name. but he's super gentlemanly!
the 3rd gentlemanly-est guy i ever known so far.
it's like i was walking to the LT door.
but still quite a dist. away frm the door.
and during the process, i walked v slow n looking at things in the LT.
then this SR guy was way ahead of me.
and he so nice, hold the door for me.
even though i was like still taking my own sweet time to walk to the door.
then he was like 'xiao jie.....' LOLS.
such guys are really extinct. isnt it tt hard for guys to be like tt gentlemanly?!

anw. finally had our moot court session today.
it was super hilarious and i was so malu.
cos everything was so last minute.
so before i knew, i became Al Gore, a witness.
FYI: AL Gore was a former 'VICE' President of US.
so i went out.
and started introducing my self.
'Im Al Gore, the former PRESIDENT of US'
*everyone started laughing at me*
'president?!?!?! AHAHAHAHAHA. u cant make it lah!'
that was like super paiseh lah.
i merely left out the word 'VICE' only what. =((
LOLS.
anw. the court session was super interesting.
esp. the part where gary came out to be the witness.
the whole class couldnt stop laughing by them.
come to think of it, it was seriously so damn funny!
im still laughing like mad now though. XD
shld have seen how disastrous n ''formal'' the court session was.
ohmy. HAHAS.

got to complete my Q7+8 of definite integral now.
and also my maths revision.
there's test like this thurs. T.T
im so scared i cmi.

Labels: exhausted

ytd was like a whole day out for me.
it's like early at 9am we had phy consultation.
im so glad that 1 1/2 hrs was worth it.
and im beggining to see hope in physics! LOLS.
at least im having a clearer pic of the 1st law of thermodynamics! =D
-whee-
then it was shopping right after that. HAHS.
from orchard all the way back to bugis.
and i got myself a GAP top! ohman! this rocks! =D
my brother got one GAP cardigan too.
but it's like 59bucks. haahs.
im just short of one pair of flats/heels + 1top now.
and i didnt realise tt i actually bought so many new clothes till ytd
when i took out all my new clothes n started tidying them up.
hehs.

anw i dont seem to knw how to do the econs tut. T.T
and there's like econs tut. tml.
im like gg to be so so so dead.
i hope mrssim doesnt call me. =X

tml's gg to be a very LONG day for me.
maths consultion after sch n chem quiz after consultation. =((

i've really got to start to buck up real soon.
cos even my maths cmi + chem + econs +phy + GP.
ok. in short. it's everything tt is cmi.

and i got so pissed off by him today.
u see ur hp vibrating every now and then.
one qn and another. ugh.
super irritating lah.
ohman. im like complaining abt him.
oops. but it is seriously ultra super irritating.
ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.

我真的很想说
这是个不能说的秘密.

天空是晴朗的
梦想燃烧着快乐
相信我和你 是最酷的

汗水痛快流着
勇气让爱闪亮着
勇敢不怕累
直到我们 都笑了

我喜欢你开始脸红了
我爱上你傻傻听我的
我幻想你世界都疯了
下一秒我唱我的歌

我喜欢你疯狂的想着
我爱上你自在的快乐
我幻想你永远是我的
我要的我爱的多难得

Labels: looking for my courage

sometimes i really dont knw im gg to survive without my friends.
with all the stress piling up in me.
im just so thankful to those around me.
-sigh-

i forget all my troubles regarding sch work.
im my old self crapping n laughing like a mad girl.
with the accompanion of my friends.
theo always says that im one siao girl.
always see me smiling n laughing away.
thats prolly becos im surrounded with friends.
they really make my day.
as much as i envy other classes.
i began to realise how fortunate i am too.
i love my class my friends my CT. =D
gary's laughter, theo's baldness, nicole's madness.....
that feeling is really great.

sometimes it's really great knowing tt someone cares for u.
always giving in to u. helping u and everything.
even if the food which u prepared for him tasted the worst ever.
he would even say that it was the nicest thing he ever tasted.
but only if this very person was him.
but apparently not.
but thanks anw! =D
it really made my day ytd.

im having consultion early in the morning tml. T.T
i've got not choice cos i dont understand anything abt thermal phy.
and there's a quiz on thermal quiz this mon. T.T
i dont wana fail anymore.
even nicole has bucked up and she understands almost everything.
i feel so useless and stupid.
-sigh-

i guess im gg to be a mugger real soon.
i hate to be one but i have to.
but i dont think i can.
cos i cant help but slack!
ohman ohgosh!
i hope i survive this ordeal.

LASTLY.
cos' im lazy to reply all the tags one by one.
i shall just reply here.
thanks for concern! really appreciate it lots.
and jieling. i will DEFINITELY call u one day. =P
u better pick up my call. LOLS.
i guess u shld be the one telling me that sentence instead!
keke.

love u guys!

Labels: idk if im thinking too much but i somehow can sense that u can sense my presence.

everything in my life seriously sucks.
maybe not everything.
my JC life sucks to the max max max.

i was on the brink of breaking down today.
all 'thanks' to freaking anuar.
me n ahli seriously think he has some mental disorder.
it's like he'll lose his temper all of the sudden n starts scolding ppl.
reckon must be due to the after effects of slimming dwn.
cos' maykee said he used to be 80+kg.
must be must be. the v bad after effects. -.-
he started to scold us stupid indirectly.
and said things that was so demoralising.
i got so depressed tt i felt like tearing up the paper n leave the class.

the horoscope says im under tremendous stress lately.
so stressed up tt i cant cope with it.
and im getting too tense up. so true indeed.

idk what's wrong with me.
i loved maths and it brought hope to me.
only subject that made me believe i could do it.
me and ahli nv failed to score well in maths last yr.
and yet now, anuar has run us down.
making us feel so demoralised+depressed+useless+stupid.
-sigh-

im so afraid i would just let it all out in sch one day.
cos seriously, i almost broke down during maths tut today.
i hope i could control my emotions better.
anuar sucks. he's so damn harsh. freakish him! T.T
-sigh-

all of us dread econs now.
mrs sim is so freaking scary.
i cant imagine how im gg to survive for the rest of the yr.

as much as i envy others.
i've really got to tell myself this world isnt fair.
it was never fair and it will never be.
and it happens to be that way.
i lose smthing n gain smthing in a way of another.

but it seems i can never figure that part right.
it always goes in and out. -sigh-
i really cant help but to envy the others.
sometimes it is really just so wrong.
i really dont want things to turn out that way.
i hated it so so so so much.
it is just seriously just so not fair.
-sigh-

Labels: this sucks. everything sucks.

im really very very stressed out this year.
it isnt as easy i thought it to be.
but most imptly.
the teachers play a big role in the stress i got too.
seriously, they are doing all this for our OWN GOOD.
but this is seriously too much for me to handle.
i miss mryang,tantohhwee and belindalin and of cos, LTS.
SIGH.

at times, i really envy other classes.
they've got their previous tutors.
ok. maybe not all but at least ONE.
recently, i went to visit my fren's class.
i sat there for quite some time.
and the ambience there was really good.
i miss that so familiar yet stranger ambience.
teachers crap with them, etc. frens crapping ard.
how i miss those good old days.
where there were jokers ard like colin,mingkai,maybellyn etc. ard.
i really miss those crappy times. sigh.

i used to think that 2007 was the suckiest year of my entire life.
but it seems 2008 sucks so much more than 2007.
and i seriously made a wrong choice to come to SR.
i should have just stayed in Ngee Ann poly.
life would have been so much easier.
or rather i shld hav made the decision to retain.
and then i could change my combi, threw phy away.
and most imptly, build up my foundation.

but what's done cant be undone.
and the only thing is to just work hard towards my goal.
but it's really hard.
i really wanna give up RIGHT NOW!

it's like siao lah.
for tutorial u dont do ur work of cos will get punished n noted in CLR.
but dont u think it's ridiculous to be treated the same way for not reading the notes?!
it's like we've done all our assigned work.
only that we dont quite rmb about the content tts all.
and she wants us to STAND n note this down in CLR!
damnit. it's too ABSOLUTE! (LOLS.)
GP comes in. XD

ugh. ohwell. enough of ranting.
my bro went to visit the fortune teller last night.
and the fortune teller told him tt this yr he wld keep gg for operation.
-sigh- i guess it's due to his constant smoking.
and most imptly, he coops himself in the rm when he smokes.
so he's like both the smoker n passive smoker at the same time.
im so worried abt him.
plus the fortune teller also mention tt my mummy wld go for small operation nxt yr.
he's really spot on cos my mum's health really not good.
her eye retina or whatever dont knw what lah.
only know her vision is kinda blurred now.
ask her seek treatment she dont want. -sigh-
im really super damn worried.
the fortune teller is really spot on.
he even knws tt we had thought of moving house too! OHMY!
he encourages us to move hse n hav a change of envt.
but i dont want. T.T i love my place. it's super convenient.
both the purple and red mrt line are just 1-2 bus stops away!
my dad's and my life is relatively good. so im relieved! hehs.
at least i know im doing fine in my life.
but still. i think my life sucks to the max.
kk. shall just stop here.
if not it will nv end.

and i nd to do my work now. T.T
so no life.

Labels: im feeling numb now.

where affairs of the heart is concern.
i guess i have been brainwashed my ahli.
but yah. i've began to look frm another perspective.
i guess i believe and trust my own instincts.
im kinda pissed off too.
so yah.
wonder when the nxt one will come. =X
but till now.
i shall just stay focused on my dreams/goals first.

da an rang ren yong liu........

Labels: sigh

FREAK! FCUK! WHATEVER SHIT!
I LOTS MY FREAKING DAMN FILE!
pardon me for my vulgarities.
but u cant understand how devastated i really feel now!
i left it in the freaking bookshop and i dont knw if it's still there.
i pray i hope i cross my fingers. let it be there.
hope aunty is nice and help me keep it aside.
COS IM FREAKING WORRIED!

damnit.
i rushed all the phy tut/ chem hols assigment(1st topic)/
maths integrationQ10 n 12.
with many mqny parts like 10 a b c d etc.
and the freaking CJC solutions!!!
and LASTLY!!!
which is the most IMPT!
my precious phyics lecture nots and chem notes!!!
plus the concept map for alkenes which needs to be done by tml!!
damnit! im seriously so dead. i cant do the chem hw. T.T

im seriously gg to break down soon.
damnit.

Labels: i hate my life. this really sucks

Profile

MAY((:
9teen
SRJCian
SIM
25thMAY'90

Tagboard