-PRINCE*

2010-04-22T11:16:00.002+08:00

Shifted for the time being to

www.twenty20fifthology.wordpress.com

:D

2010-04-19T22:36:00.002+08:00

Once and for all, I hate Capital Budgeting :((

touched on the topic on love with baobao just now
and I just had this conclusion at the end of the whole convo

"Cause you are worth the fight
that's why i'd rather take the chance
and hold on till I've tried
than give up without giving it a shot"

and she made me realise
that speaking of the good moments
and saying the nice-ness of you
would block off all the sad emotions aside
and make me smile from deep within
which I find it pretty true

saw a letter on my table today
wasn't surprised at the content
but kinda didn't expect he would actually do that
for that I'm taking back all my words((:
the handwriting is just damn damn nice :D
ohwell, at least I'm thankful that sunshine after the rain^^

taking things easy now-I hope?

Ohwell,
extremely tired now
heading to bed cause i don't wna be late
just like today and missed my bus twice ever

2010-04-17T21:14:00.002+08:00

MC AC COSTING I LOVE YOU! :D

Last night was an imbah night
I had an excess vibe of energy flowing in me ytd
so much so that I was soooooo hyper
and couldn't get to sleep even at 5am
this is madness I know

so I stayed I gabby's house till 4 before canning home
I got soooo addicted to GLEE that I wasted a few hours
rmbed how happy I was when I told gabby
how nice you actually are just that you don't show it only
and how you actually still care for her and us alot
like how you would always seem tobe fierce but
you are always "mouth hard heart soft" (direct translation)

was kind of high for the whole day today
but I guess I've used up all my energy by now
I'm having a major headache
and I'm damn damnnnn tired :((

shall attempt capital bugeting when I'm home *sigh*

had nice Korean food for dinner :D
had so much fun bullying Derek
seeing his "ugh" face is so entertaining! LOL!
And each time he reminds me of his $13,500 car door
I just feel like laughing soooooo badly! Tsk!

Ohwell,
nice day today
tmr got to get my bro's present
if only I have 42hours a day :((

gabby and yunting are at topshop now
leaving me here with all my notes
ohwell, I would only be tempted to get tt orange top
ugh, I can't wait for my pay. I really want tt top badly! :((

ohwell.
End off here((:

2010-04-15T23:47:00.002+08:00

HEAVY HEART

feels like slapping myself upside down
for being sooooooo unproductive today :((

didn't manage to see cutesy & his braces today
no fateeeeee :((

niceeeee & awesomeeeee wenming bought us koi((:
decided to experiment cocoa barry 50% today
think it's as nice as the 25% one
just that one taste like milk choc
and the other tasted like dark choc
haha

freeeeeeze like mad at revision room
despite my biker jacket & derek's pullover
I was still freeeezing & my goosebumps were like poxes
luckily i had another life saviour to lend me a jacket
to keep me warm & cosy so that I could study :D
many thanks to that chao ahbeng & daddy

helped gabby with her secret & yaaaa
no more entertainment nowwwww :((
can't matchmake them le.. Sians.. Haha

random thought
but it would be great
to spend the time with someone I love
on the piano/guitar, singing along as he plays
something that I love,
not much of a luxury but it's simple happiness((:

every song that he plays
every lyrics that I sing
meant for me and you
isn't it nice?

Ohwell,
love the warmth & cosy feeling
big and oversized but it feels so like home

stop here.
Nights((:

2010-04-14T23:09:00.002+08:00

On the road to recovery! :D

*HAPPY*
apart from that runny nose of mine & sore throat
I feel so much better today! :D
the past 3days have been so torturous! :((
feeling my body temp fluctuating up & down
and the major headache that I had
totally enough to kill me
but ya, I'll be healthy in no time!^^

some updates:
our dear gabby finally met Derek for the first time ytd((:
it was a great entertainment for all of us
seeing how shy & awkward they felt! HAHA!
Cuuuuuuute la k! :D
and I sincerely apologise for slamming derek's car door
I'm too used to closing sukri's HEAVY car door
so I tend to exert more strength
I assumed both your car doors were as heavy
so naturally I just *wham* then *oops*
it become a slam on your car.. :D
haha

anw, today lirong played 关怀方式 with the guitar
and I'm so in love with it- totally!
It's been so long since any of friends played that on a guitar((:
and singing along is my all time fave :D
but my sore throat ruined the singing today :((
I want my melodious voice back pleaseeeeee
Napped twice at gabby's house
couldn't help it cos I was effing tired

bought koi today again!
HAPPY MAX!
But I didn't get honey green tea today
settled for cocoa Barry 25%
& I like it cos it taste like dark choc! :D
but I suppose most ppl would prefer it sweeter

tmr's going to be a looooooong day
I hope I'll survive
shall swim tmr((:

nights lovelies((:

2010-04-10T19:54:00.003+08:00

Feeling angsty and disappointed!

Is this all I get
for giving you encouragement & stuffs
not even a simple "thanks" from you?!

Is this all that things can be
after all the ridiculous incident?!

*sigh*
really disappointed
can't be bothered but am still getting affected
what kind of crap this is man!

Ugh.
Angsty angsty angtsy
disappointed disappointed disappointed!

:((

2010-04-03T22:48:00.004+08:00

Good Friday is never the same for me anymore
now I've lived this day with a special reminder & great reason
HE loved us so deep, more than anything
that HE laid HIS life for us((:

and one thing I've learnt from the testimonial on thurs
our faith is not a religion but rather a relationship with HIM

anw,
I feel like scolding myself seriously
can you please stop getting so distracted
by all those entertainment & focus on studying?
Seriously super angsty at myself for being so slack!
Ugh.

ohwell,
man u bs Chelsea today
damn sad man u lost but ohwell
too lazy to elaborate..
At least I feel much better already((:

& now "park ji sung" keeps ringing in my head
cos yt keeps spamming his name in my ears just now
HAHA ohwell((:

nights loves
great weather to snuggle under my blanket
and head to bed((:

the viscious study+sch cycle starts tmr all over again :((

2010-03-31T23:29:00.000+08:00

Why is it so
that my heart skipped a beat
when I heard about the incident
that your daddy got into?

Weird.

Just weird.

Ohwell.

Just prayed.
For you & your family.

Getting back to econs now..
Hopefully I'll survive the night..

2010-03-30T23:48:00.002+08:00

HAPPY DAY!^^

awesome company
lok kok dressing
good food at chompchomp
durian mousse at dessert bowl
ending with our visa go! adv
HAHA

totally felt like killing Jeff just now
don't even know how to alliance with us
idiot.. Karma.. End up sabo-ing himself! LOL!

Idk why
but Steven said our visa go! adv created a commotion among the excos
like wth la.. Haha.. Hopefully visa would see it & sponsor us as well!
HAHA!

Ohwell,
it's these little stupid things in life that makes life interesting
afterall we're only young once! Why not have fun with this parody? :D

p.s. The big match this sat!
Gonna watch it with awesome friends((:

2010-03-30T13:09:00.002+08:00

Perfection
Is it really that hard to achieve?
*sigh*

i thought I was close to being perfect
but it seemed like I was wrong
I had so many flaws in me that I didn't know exist
and I'm hating myself so much for them now
I've hurt a few people unknowingly cos i was naive
and partly cos of my insensitiviy as well
tons of regrets but what's done can't be undone
and thanks to uncle for pointing all these out to me
making mistakes while I'm young and learn from them
beats better than making them in future and live with it
i'm a 20year old "teen" trying her best to be matured
cos she hates to be termed as a kid anymore..

I've learnt
and I'll grow from it
i don't ask for forgiveness
but i just hope you'll trust me
hurting your feelings was never my intention
and whatever gossips you've heard from anyone
I really hope you'll come to me like what you did
and find out the truth from the party involved
before deciding whom to trust whom to believe

and I've lost confidence in blogging now
idk when will people misinterpret what i write again..
Sigh..

2010-03-30T02:48:00.002+08:00

Just ended my 2hours chat with uncle!
So glad he called, he chased my blues away! :D
I wonder why the both of us always falls into the same scenario

anw,
friends who don't know me well
please stop hurting me indirectly
stop interpreting things when you don't know
y'all ain't me and don't think the way I do
don't twist and turn the facts into a juicy gossip
so that you gossip mongers have something to share

thanks a million
i have nothing better to say now
and i don't wna defend myself or anyone anymore

to all these 'good' friends
thanks for screwing up my life

nights
wasted my beauty sleep on them

2010-03-30T00:10:00.002+08:00

I wasn't being childish at all
I really wasn't..
sigh..

Will be switching to wordpress soon
when I have the time..

p.s. How can I ever make someone who has totally
lost confidence in a r/s, believe in love again?
It's really sad when i heard that
he doesn't want to love anyone anymore
but why?

2010-03-26T22:58:00.001+08:00

Before I start with my post,
I think I'd better clarify that I'm not being emo here((:
(p.s. Just in case dear bbees like uncle,gen,Mel,Andy gets worried)

anw,
gave my whole afternn to my dear baobao
glad she's feeling better now.. And thanks to clar as well
he taught me and baobao lots of philosphical stuffs about life
well, baobao was telling me how much she missed her bus journeys w him
as well as the night in his arms and the silly things that he does
which somehow brought up certain blissful memories of us..
(I emphasize again. I'm not emoing k((: )
I thought of our bus rides, how you would really hug me tight
cos you knew I was freezing and you wanted to keep me warm
times where we would just do nothing but lie in your arms
simple yet blissful
times where you would do really silly yet cute stuffs
like biting me anywhere anytime
it's cute cos you're just like that cartoon char you loved
our honeymoon period where you pick me up after trg for supper
times where you would send me cute sms to cheer me up
the first time you kissed me, I could recall how stupid i was to act blur..
We did nothing crazy but to me all this simple things completed me
(I'm really not having any false hopes again ok((: )
just that I think blissful moments are meant to be rmbed
even if everything has ended..

Baobao told me one thing that her ex told her on vday
3simple words..
Something that no one would have thought of
when she asked me,
I thought it was like 'i love you'
but no it wasn't..
3 simple words
"YOU COMPLETED ME"
any girls who hears that from guys,
would definitely have their hearts melted
it's just so sweet..

Ohwell,
what's over is over
no longer holding on to this any longer
one goes and another comes((:

by the way!
I got 2 free coffee bean coffee cos the guy took my order wrongly!
Haha! But I hated them so I gave them away :D

gonna STUDY nowwwww!
But mac is exceptionally crowded and noisy today!
Don't likeeeeeeeee :((

anw, netball today was fun :D
heeeeeeee

2010-03-23T22:54:00.003+08:00

Imperfectly perfect
the first I found after 2 failed attempts
it's hard to find another one like you
and as much as I miss you
I'm slowly learning to let you go
slow progress but better than none
and I guess I must really thank gabby alot
she's like my happy pill, a gift from GOD
carrying me through the toughest times
and I'm really thankful for that

never regretted once for giving in since day 1
and admitting my feelings for you back then
cos you brought colours to my life
felt like a baby in your arms

Time to really enjoy single life now
love comes knocking always when you least want them((:

nights sweeties
I'm feeling much better now((:

2010-03-22T20:09:00.002+08:00

I hope this works
cos yt and Vincent tried doing this

may you are damn zai
cos you are happy
remember you are happy
always happy forever happy
you dare to be happy
you ain't afraid of being happy
always remember that

ohkays

I hope this works

2010-03-21T14:02:00.002+08:00

All is lost
I lost another soulmate
whom promised to be there for me as a close friend
but afterall that i've done.. I doubt.. He'll ever forgive me

It ain't his fault if he's angry with me now
whatever that I've expressed thru' my blog and fb
I guess all I can do is delete them so that it doesn't irritate you again

I'll just pray
that one day..
We'll be back to how we were before I popped that qns

sorry
truly sorry

2010-03-14T21:13:00.002+08:00

Letting go doesn't mean that I've given up
Likewise, giving up doesn't mean that I've learnt to let go

one of my friend told me this
and it had me pondering over this for a moment
and I realized it holds a certain extent of truth in it
don't you think so?

I've been pretty distracted today
I tried to focus and had a hard time forcing myself to digest my econs
it ain't easy trying to block myself from many thoughts running thru' my head
guess I prolly know how uncle was feeling the other time now

I was feeling very tired
not from studying
but rather from all those thoughts
and of cos' from trying to stop myself from thinking and stay focus

I saw many reasons why I stepped into the whole cycle back then
and up to date it still attracts me just like the first day of the whole cycle

have I let thigs go?
Have I given up?
I don't know

I tried my best to find that answer but I couldn't..

Looking at how I socialized with people recently
I realized I just lost my old self
sigh

I'm just so tired of everything now

2more months?
Does that still hold?
Seems a long way but it's as short as well

ugh
whatever
it's killing me badly

I just want to shut myself up and cry
BOOOOO HOOOOO..

2010-03-06T23:05:00.002+08:00

Have been seeing gabby for the past few days
and I like it that we never seem to get bored of each other! :D
we did the stupid-est thing ever at airport 2days ago..
Travelled from T2 to T1 and back to T2 and finally T3
wasted like 3hours of our time searching for candy empire and lunch
ohh! And not forgetting that we acted like some kids doing some artwork!
Before we finally settled down at macs to study((;
uhmmmmmmmmmmm.. Actually we didn't really study..
My migraine was killing me ttm that I just gave up
yt came down and brought us cut lovely sweets from Made In Candy
it's like superrrr uberrrr cute ttm can!
Supper later that night was tiring
torturous for me-mentally n physically
( oh and I got stuck here for quite some time thinking how to spell PHYSICALLY)

N E WAYS
me gabby decided on studying at bishan cc ytd :D
awesome choice and the most conducive envt ever!
It was really that effective but at least slow and steady
funniest things happened all in a day ytd
how fun can that be! :D
went to see bing bing after studying
although I kept complaining of the long journey
haha but yupps.. Worth the time to see bingbing((;
I love him ttm.. He does the silliest things ever
and he puts a smile on my face at my lowest moments :D
cute boy laaaaaaaaa he!
Thanks Mel&Andy for the happy food last night!
Though I felt seriously guilty about having it at 1am in the morning!
But it awesomeeeee cos' I had you guys! :D

thanks to my niceeeee brother
I had to wake up at 535am this morning to open the door for him
and best was that I only got to bed at 3am
and I had to wake up at 9am after that..
My energy was seriously all zapped out of my body totally!

Followed the same routine today
camped at bishan cc with usual gab! And yt today! :D
LOLed today like some stupid girl tgt with yt
goderic d/l-ed this moneybook apps on his itouch
and the funniest thing was the bar was like 199% completed!
Like 199%?!?!?!?!

I'm officially turning in early tonight
I'm effing tired and I need to run tmr
nights loves and mugging cont's tmr at bishan cc! :D

2010-03-02T20:33:00.003+08:00

Whaaaat a day!

Thanks daddy for poa consultation last night
I bet he must be thinking 'ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG!'
but nonetheless thanks for being very patient with me((:

I was effing tired yesterday
and I can't recall how many times I actually yawned in just 1min

I did my econs badly and I hope macro would help me a little
I spend my whole of yesterday afternn slacking school with gabby! :D

slacked the whole afternn today
taking a break away from studies and rest
my brain cells are dying and I need time for more brain cells to grow
HAHA!

p.s. it's sad to know that I still feel happiest and my smiles tend be more geniune
only whenever when I'm with you.. It would have been great
if this was the case in the past but that's not the case now..

2010-03-01T01:08:00.002+08:00

Nurturing my love for ECONS..

My love indicator has shown me that I'm slowly beginning to fall in love with Econs
the following indications are:
1- I love to look at my macro notes
2- I feel so happy reading macro
3- so much so that I even think I can ace in macro
4- I dream of it every night
5- my face turns read at the sight of it
6- my heart beats faster.. Skipping a beat every second..

uhmmmmmmmmmmm.. Afterall I think I only love macro! HAHA!
Ohhwell.. Whatever it is.. I really do love econs much more than before((:

but then again, I'm giving up on micro from today
I almost died trying to understand :((
sigh

I seriously need lady luck tmr

annnnnd I thought the subway wager was supposed to be a great source of motivation for me!
It seems not 100% effective but I guess it did make me stay focus for quite a period of time!
Just that it's a pity I still can't seem to uds micro.. Ugh..

and one last thing!
I'm hooked on to 2PM-Heartbeat! :D
listen to my heartbeat~ listen to my heartbeat~

2010-02-26T22:05:00.004+08:00

TODAY IS A H-A-P-P-Y DAY! :D

but.......
Prelims starts tmr :((

and......
I'm not done with my stats revision tmr

and the worse thing is......
Stats is my first paper tmr :((

GG

2010-02-21T20:29:00.006+08:00

Immune system breakdown

CNY this year have been really wonderful((:
reunion dinner with relatives and all the house visiting..
Everything were awesome! :D

and I'm glad I stayed away from bak kwa this year!
Heeeee.. Great sense of achievement!^^
but I supposed the pineapple tarts are my greatest sin this year

Met up with dearest for happy lunch and happy food((:
though it wasn't like the usual past lunch dates with all the distances
but at least it was a nice day spend with someone I cherish alot((:
thanks for the happy food..

Rebel's double birthday surprise later at night at peperoni((:
21" pizza is no joke and it's really awesome!
First try at Texas poker at kenneth's place after dinner..
First time having the ceiling come crashing down on me as well
shocking but hilarious and I couldn't stop laughing HAHA

Met up with bbees for cny at laoren's place..
As well as dearest daddy's bday celebration!((:
I admit I could have done better at organising the whole thing
my bad cos I've been really packed with lots of stuffs..
but nonetheless it was really great to see all the bbees again((:
and I think lady luck left me when I don't have my lucky star with me
haha.. Ohwell..

Bible study,choir,cny htht with loves ytd((:
sometimes you don't have to gamble when you go house visiting
htht sessions is a great alternative :D
really had a nice time talking with all of them..
From relationships to guys to girls to political issues, marriage and pasts etc
almost everything under the sun.. Haha
from bao's house down to her pavillion all the way till 3am in the morning((:
car ride home was scary cos of stupid cl n his ghost stories! Ugh!
But at least he escorted me all the way to my doorstep! =P
but I was kind of evil to scare him after he walk me up.. LOL
but seriously ytd was really one of my fave nights with them((:

today I woke up with a damn fever..
Seen the doc and had to give service a miss.. :((
tried studying in the afternn but wasn't effective..
A very lazy Sunday.. I'm slacking at starbucks relaxing..
Stoning every 15mins.. And for the past 5.5hours..
I've only completed macro topic 4 and 5.. GG..
Ultimate sians. Totally no mood and energy to study.. :((

and after thinking for so long
I guess I'm on the same platform as everyone now..
If that's how i'm really being treated, Im really disappointed..
Cause everything is just a facet.. No truths..

UGH

2010-02-07T15:55:00.002+08:00

Everything seems to fall out of place now..
Stepped into this familiar place once again..
Really felt like my 2nd home..
A little changes to the envt..
But the warm and cosy feeling never changed..
Wanted to tell you that but I guess it was better to keep it to myself instead..
You would have probably just tell me to stop thinking so much that's all..

Ohwell..
Crap this when my exams are coming..
When everything piles up.. It's really killing me..

Dear father..
Please give me the strength to cont' this journey..
And cont' guiding me in the path that you're leading me to..
I thank you for your wise knowledge and love
which you would cont' showering me with..
In the name of Jesus,
Amen

2010-02-06T15:05:00.003+08:00

TRADEMARK-ONLY LOVE

2am and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me

But only love can stay
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do

In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough
If we learn to trust

But only love can stay
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do

I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'll give my dreams just one more chance
To let this be our last goodbye

old school songs are still the best((:

netball trg resumed ytd after a week of resting
it was really really fun and supper was great with the best companions((:
boss suggested that i should tryout for the next ivp
i really dont know if i should.. there's been quite alot of conflicts
and i dont wana end up playing my fave sport with such unhappiness..
if only someone could tell me what to do..

have been really irritated by someone lately
and i just hope that person can just stop being so despo
it really turns people off ttm
i've trying my best to be nice
and i hope you dont cross my limits..

i'm getting really really stressed up over exams
and i've got a bad feeling i'm gg to da bao at least a module :((
tgt with one less shoulder to cry and lean on
everything is just sooooo screwed up
*sigh*

GG
GG
GG
GG
GG
GG

Let me walk with You, dear Savior,
Side by side and hand in hand;
Keep me clean and pure and faithful
Till I reach the heavenly land. —Hess

Keep eternity’s goal in sight by walking daily in God’s light.

2010-01-28T00:10:00.002+08:00

FINALLY GYM-ed IN SCH TODAY!((:

following the same routine for the past few days
studied with the NEHballers today((:
then a loooooong break with fod.. Tsk
gym-ing session with Andy and Edwin((:
they almost killed my arms w/ 2.5kg of weights on each side
I almost died doing 3 sets of 8.. Lol
then down to 1.25kg on each side and finally to just the bar alone LOL
didn't know I soooooo cuiiiiiii ttm sia..
No wonder my nehball long passes forever so floaty ><
anw.. Gym-ing is sooooo fun!((:
and I did my 2.4k of running:D
HAPPY!^^

same routine tmr((:
plus "my ex" horrorrrr movieeee w/ clubbers :D
-wheeeeeeeeeeeeee-

2010-01-21T17:07:00.002+08:00

Life has been kind of screwed up recently
internal conflicts within our netball team
isnt a good thing esp when our match is this sat
guess there's nothing much to comment bout it now
what's been said has already been said
no point harping on this issue any longer..

emotions all stirred up..
maybe i'm just over-reacting
i dont know :(((((

on a happy note,
I FINALLY GOT MY IPHONE! :D:D:D
say bye to my LK phone *YAYY*

2010-01-19T12:33:00.002+08:00

DAYBREAKERS((:

swim in the morning was awesomeeee
studying in the noon wasnt that bad
met rebels for movie in the night
it's really awesome but it's damn damn gory
i was practically like jumping out of my seat every now and then
but still, it's a really great movie with awesome storyline((:
i think twilight/new moon can just go home liao =X

and i think yl's macbook pro is making me so pek chek
or issit me that im a technology idiot? LOL.

ohwell..
training later plus 6km of running((: i like :D:D:D:D

As shadow's of night give way to dawn light
God opens the door to a brand new day
And with it comes mercy with His gracious hands
For giving new mercies is always His ways -D De Haan

2010-01-14T23:39:00.002+08:00

PI PANG PI :D

best joke of the day
all thanks to kasim bhiriya!
and becos' of that, me and yt cant stop laughing

swim in the morning was great
studying in the early afternn wasnt futile
until uncle dragged me to study econs with him LOL
but thanks to him, i'm finally done with chapter 5! :D:D:D:D
i think i shouldnt study with kenneth, he makes my study session futile
whole day only know how to stalk pretty girls on facebook
DISTRACTING!!!!! :(((((((((((

dinner-ed at burgershack
taboo-ed at tea party :D:D:D:D
really a nice way to destress after a long day of studying((((:

NETBALL TMR! :D *YAYY*
SPELLS L-O-V-E!

2010-01-12T23:18:00.003+08:00

NETBALL STUDY NETBALL STUDY NETBALL STUDY

life's like a routine lately
it's like netball study netball study
weird but i dont find mugging a chore
actually, i seem to be liking it alot apart from the stress building up
LOL.

netball trainings have increased to twice per week-tues+fri
aint really a bad thing cos' i'm really enjoying what i'm doing(((((:
moreover daisytan league is coming up and we all want a good match :D:D
and i think i sprained my ankle from all the dodging footwork today =/
ohwell.. guess i just need an additional ankle guard

got a K date on thurs..
not sure if i should go or not =/
should i study or should i go K?
and i think my voice still sounds husky with all the sore throat =/
ugh

For every follower of Christ
There is a race to run;
And when we cross the finish line,
We’ll be with Christ, God’s Son. —Fitzhugh

Run the race with eternity in view.

2010-01-11T00:53:00.001+08:00

Stress piling up as each day passes
personal problems no longer important as of now
setting them aside for the moment and focus on my studies
no CNY mood at all.. and i'm really freaking out
looking at the rate i'm going in my studies
i regretted wasting my time on other issues
and end up jeopardising my own studies
i just hope it's not too late..

i had the worst fri afternn ever
worst bus journey to school
and i promise tt would be the last time i would do that on the bus

training wasnt awesome
super pissed off with myself for being totally off-form
even those minor mistakes like stepping and replay..
it didnt happen for the past few trainings..
how could i have made such a trivial mistake?!?!?! UGH.
but at least i managed to learn how to be more aggressive
and really STICK to my defender like some super glue. :D
looking forward to more intensive trainings((:
and hope the team does well in daisytan league aye? :D:D:D
supper at bukit timah food centre and headed home w/ my TPY KHAKI((:

wondered how long it has been since i last shopped w/ my mummy
did some quick shopping with mummy on sat before heading for my bible study+choir
i'm getting new sports shoessssssss and i'm soooooo H-A-P-P-Y! :D *YAYY*
met baobao at cheenatown for dinner and we saw this drunkard!
DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN SCARY CAN!!!!!!!!!!!
trimmed our eyebrows and went central for some window shopping! :D:D:D
walked over to clarke quay to chill- love the ambience there!
and baobao did the most LK thing at social house entrance! LOL.

B: Hi, may i know what time does free flow starts?
Bouncer: huh?
B: Free-flow for ladies night on saturdays?
Bouncer: OH! that's HISTORY! we dont have ladies night now.. it's a thai disco club now..
B: OHH.. HAHA.. OK THANK YOU (walk off asap)

It's been long since i last got down to dance my ass off
Missed service and i'm feeling so guilty :(((((
anw, figured out better alternative for my sundays
so yupps not tooooo bad((((:

slacking at my beloved baobao's home now
trying out all her collection and getting them for my cny((:
sooooooooo happy can!
heading home soooooooooooon :D:D:D:D:D

Many things about tomorrow
I don’t seem to understand;
But I know who holds tomorrow,
And I know who holds my hand. —Stanphill

Never be afraid to entrust the unknown future to the all-knowing God

2010-01-06T22:00:00.003+08:00

IMMUNE SYSTEM BREAKS DOWN FOR GOOD :((

YESYESYES.
IM SICK IM SICK IM SICK.
BAD FLU. BAD THROAT INFECTION. BAD COUGH. BAD FEVER.
WHAT A WAY TO SPEND THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR LIKE THAT.
SIGH.

finally seen the doctor after much procratination
travelled all the way back to owen road from school
bad jam. long waiting time for consultation.
took a good 3.5hours travelling from sch to clinic and back to sch. :((

studying session wasnt futile cos' i was left with 1.5hours
and edwin and andy came along to 'disrupt' my studying mood. HAHA.

netball ivp with ntu just now.
all of them totally off-form. sigh.
but still, ntu really played a good match((:
got so much to learn from all their games
they're just like xiao qiu's clones lah.
ENERGIZER BUNNY-NEVER SAY DIE. LOL.
i just hope daisytan league wouldnt be as bad as today's match =/

mugging session with vinc,yt,steven on mon
netball ivp against rp that night
relc payment w/ the usual clubbers in the morning on tues
avatar movie with bbees in the noon
back to school for studying which ended up playing monopoly deal
dinner-ed at holland v w/ vinc,ken,steven,gabby,jeff..
really long long day and im glad i survived with that effing pain headache
and the flu cough sore throat that has been persisting for long.

tmr's going to be a long day again.
and glad i'm finally getting to see LEO((:

cant wait for friday's trg to ELBOW people and be AGGRESSIVE :D:D:D

nights world
flu tablets plus cough syrup= double combo the drowsiness

2010-01-01T20:37:00.002+08:00

HELLO 2010 :D
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

quick updates
-mugging session w/ doreen on monday
-nehball trg at np on tues :D (this is so damn loved!)
-mugging session w/ jm in the day, crazy partying w/ kenneth at zouk on wed
( flaming lambo, AK-47, Tequila, Jager bomb = OMG! )
-dinner at osaka town w/ clubberrrrs, 2nd day of crazy partying at butter ytd
( no more mixers. vodka neat. martell neat. graveyard. = MADNESS! )

i think i'm one crazy chick cum superwoman. LOL.
craziest night ever esp when there's B-BA there.
everyone's just crazy crazy crazy.
with all the scandalous couples! WOOTS.
but the best night cos' i had the best companions to watch the fireworks with me :D

ps. for a moment i kind of wished i could spend the night watching
the fireworks with you instead. rather than clubbing my night away.

ohwell.
new year. new start. new life ahead.
no more partying. no more drinking. no more late nights.
most importantly, no more attempt at trying to keep u back.
more mugging sessions. more netball trainings. more swimming and running.
most importantly, more time for myself, to love myself more than ever.
whatever that has happened for the past few nights has ended as we step into 2010.
continue to embark on my journey with HIM and repent for my sins.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
MAY EVERYONE BE BLESSED WITH A GOOD START AHEAD IN A NEW YEAR! :D

2009-12-27T20:20:00.002+08:00

great day out with dearies((:
arcade spells love with bball,bishibashi and ddr :D
and today's gg to be last time im gg to step into suntec for the moment
gosh, 4 days at suntec in a week is killing me. lol.
ohwell.

back to school tmr
tata

2009-12-26T23:47:00.002+08:00

this has been the craziest month ever
lots of bbees having their birthday in dec
all the xmas parties till the early morning
plus the very last night of countdown to xmas w/ og10
it's total madness man!
HAHA.

i'm losing my voice from all the fun on x'mas eve :((
korean spicy food plus alcohol plus screaming = no voice T.T
i was still thinking of going K sometime next week man!
UGH.

one last birthday celebration w/ dearies tmr
before i get back to school for some studying
and then very last night of partying on new yr's eve
before i really get down and hit the books till exams are over((:

my new year resolutions:
NO MORE PARTYING TILL EXAMS ARE OVER :D
FOCUS ON MY STUDIES AND MUG MUG MUG!

2009-12-19T11:08:00.005+08:00

I NEED A BREAK FROM E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

WED:
Xmas shopping with joleen and edmund
whole lots of fun and bumping into lots of familiar faces
but only one caught me when i least expected it
*sigh*

THURS:
Jiawei's 21st party
missed my nehball's xmas dinner :((
and beer really sucks

FRI:
nehball nehball nehball
totally lost when i had to be a defender
it was so hilarious that everyone kept laughing at my actions. LOL.
ohwell, I JUST LOVE MY MIDFIELD POSITION BEST! :D

TODAY:
it's and EOC day for me
i'm just going to slack whole day in the library
and do some studying.. im really close to failing everything :((
*sigh*

i really want a bowl of 孟婆汤..
can santa give that to me on xmas? *sigh*
have been really thinking alot lately..
when will i ever get to see the light?
one moment i've decided to just let everything go
and who knows, i actually took back my decision the next moment *sigh*
that change you had meant a new start, was it?
my heart just shattered the moment i saw that change in you
in the past u wanted it so badly that u could just ignore how ppl look at you
but now?

it really breaks my heart for being so hard on myself
knowing i have to let go of the one that i love most
i no longer have the courage to fight for a second chance at it
i might regret for giving up after so long but i just want an end
i guess u'd be hoping for me to stop all this nonsence as well
i'm just tired and i need a break..

sidenote: goodbye my love..

2009-12-17T13:52:00.000+08:00

I'd rather have bad times with you,
than good times with someone else.
I'd rather be beside you in a storm,
than safe and warm by myself.
I'd rather have hard times together,
than to have it easy apart.
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart.

but i'll never get the chance to do so..

2009-12-14T23:14:00.001+08:00

CONFUSED
CONFUSED
CONFUSED
CONFUSED
CONFUSED
CONFUSED

LOST

2009-12-14T00:34:00.003+08:00

黑色的夜燃烧着风
无情的细雨淋得我心痛
最后一班车像是你的诺言
狠心离去溅湿了我的心
一个人走在冰冷的长街
想起分手前熟悉的脸
淡淡地留下一句忘了我吧还有明天
心碎的声音有谁会听得见
我告诉自己爱情早已走远
可是胸前还挂着你的项链
逃离这城市还剩什么可留在心底
忘记你不如忘记自己

will i have the courage to ask for anything now?
*sigh*

anw, great day out w/ odac rebels((:
HAPPY ADVANCED BDAY CELEBRATION FOR BAOBAO!
bet this is the first awesome presentS she ever received! LOL.
LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF VARIETY OF SNACKS! HAHA.
arcade rocks to the max esp. when you're feeling down..
street bball and ddr and air hockey are awesome((:

immune system having a major breakdown
bad flu, bad sore throat, bad headache..
wrist injury getting from bad to worst :((
*sigh*

thanks jimmy for walking me home
i almost lost my way..HAHA XD
and i cant wait for my 6bucks atas sweet tmr :D
*YAYY*

sidenote: what else can i ask for?

2009-12-13T02:30:00.002+08:00

lots of activites to keep me going lately

thurs:
joyce 21st

fri:
stats 1
htht+lunch w/ laopo *winks*
netball training :D
(cant believe i actually survived trg w/ my sprained wrist^^)

TODAY:
vball at ecp w/ dodgies :D
manpuku for dinner at Tamp1
(gosh,u dont know how happy was i when i stepped into manpuku!
it has got all my fave jap food there! YUMMYLICIOUS! XD )
shopping in town w/ joleen we we got our NUM FLOPS w/
the 'BUY 2 GET 3RD FREE' promotion! HAHA.
I LOVE MY GLOW-IN-E-DARK FLOPS and TANK TOP TTM! :D
retail therapy helps me out alot, seriously =X
camwhore session w/ super WLOS edmund and slacking at borders till midnight!
really exhuasted now..
and my wrist hurts even more :((
*sigh*

tmr:
service
meetup w/ odac rebels(after SO LONG! :D)
cant wait cant wait cant wait...

sidenote: What hurts the most was being so close, and having so much to say, and watching you walk away, and never know what could have been..

2009-12-11T10:37:00.002+08:00

went to bed with a sprained wrist last night
and i dont even know how i sprained it
ugh and it's hurting even more this morning

i dont know how am i gg to handle training later :((
what makes it worst is that it's my right wrist u're talking about
*sigh*

joyce 21st party last night was a blast
making her put on a dress was fun! :D
and for once, i didnt feel good drinking during the games..

thankfully my dad's willing to pick my up at 2am in the morning
if not the cab fare home would have been super chor on me
and i hate going home alone at such late hours..

ohwell,
lots to say
updates soon
tata~

2009-12-10T00:42:00.002+08:00

updates tmr
tired

long day in school
late night out with friends again

energy level dropping drastically..

2009-12-09T00:07:00.003+08:00

why do you always have to make me worried?
you know how persistent i am and how easily i would get worried over you
and yet, u're always not taking good care of yourself..
*sigh*

i know i'm in no position now to nag at you
or get you to listen to me any longer
but i just want you to be alright..

it just worries me to hear that ur knee's suffering

but yet i've no idea how bad it is..

have been trying hard to cont' with my studies today
5hours of ineffective studying= 2 topics of POA done
ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh
why issit so hard to focus?!

i dont care.
i must start studying effectively tmr!!!!!!!!

sidenote- too tired to move on..

2009-12-07T22:48:00.002+08:00

TIRED TIRED TIRED!

and now i'm having a bad headache :((

anw, have decided to go home at 9pm everyday
i realised i would only waste my time at home
at least i can do something useful in the library
really got alot alot alot to catch up in my studies
and i'm super stressed up now and i feel like giving myself a kick
ugh!

shall rest early tonight
headache's really killing me
guess i need more sleep..

2009-12-06T23:13:00.002+08:00

wants to be a silly girl no more
but can i?

my whole life is in a mess now
i'm renting a flat and moving out soon
found a flat at toa payoh
can never be compared to my own flat
but i've got no choice..
i just hope this change would be a good one
and i hope i'm versatile enough to adapt to the new envt..

i hate to see quarrels
and i hate to be thrashed like a rubbish
neither do i like being accused of drinking everyday
*sigh*

really having a hard time coping with my studies
how can i ever focus when my brain's not listening to me?
it's really horrible and i'm really really freaking out..
*sigh*

only i can help myself out, right? :((

2009-12-06T14:59:00.003+08:00

我知道你很难过
爱一个人
需要缘分
你何苦让自己
越陷越深
别傻得用你的天真去碰触不安的灵魂
每一天只能痴痴的等
爱一个人别太认真
你受伤的眼神令人心痛
没有一个人
非要另一个人
才能过一生
你又何苦逼自己
面对伤痕
我知道你很难过
感情的付出不是真心就会有结果
别问怎么做爱才能长久
这道理有一天你会懂
我知道你很难过昨天是恋人
今天说分说就分手
别问你的痛
要怎么解脱
多情的人注定伤得比较久

finally met up with some old friends esp dearie!
really glad to see all of them again
and the guys never seem to grow up.. LOL

thanks dearie for singing this song for me
i understand what you're trying to tell me through this
and the lyrics just says it all

i miss singing despite the k session last night.
and i wanna cont' singing for my whole life.
more k sessions anyone? :D

i'm going to give myself a buffer time to get over you
i dont know how long i'll cont' loving you
i dont know how long i'll cont' missing you
i dont know how i'm going to get over you but i have to
i dont know what the future holds for me
but i'll leave it to God to guide me through

2009-12-05T11:41:00.002+08:00

All this while,
i've been living in the shadow of someone whom i shouldnt be
all because i didnt want to be that girl that you didnt love any longer
but i realised i was just being stupid cos' i just wasnt being who i am
clubbing and drinking never was my thing but i insisted on it
on the surface it seemed like i really did enjoy myself
and it seemed like my acting skills were superb
i tell great lies dont i? HAHA.

it was only after that very night,
that i finally realised i no longer fit into your heart
and you would no longer take care of me like u used to
i was stupid hoping to be taken care of by you
how silly can i be..

it has been really tiring all these while
to put on a smile even at my lowest moments
right here, no one knows me best
and if ever the day any of you finds the real me
don't be surprised..

from now on,
i'm going to lie low
and be the girl whom i used to be
less actions, less 'boyfriendS', less talking, more quiet moments,
no more clubbing, no more being a hardcore drinker
but a decent girl..

till then

2009-12-04T10:02:00.003+08:00

SORRY FOR ALL THE TROUBLE I'VE CAUSED
AND THE DISAPPOINTMENT I'VE GIVEN

I NEED SOME QUIET MOMENTS NOW...

sidenote: 3hours of sleep and im awake.. zZzzZzz...

this time it's a promise to myself and i aint going to break it ever...

2009-12-03T11:47:00.002+08:00

GLOWMETRIC GLOWMETRIC GLOWMETRIC
PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY
CLUB DRINK DANCE HIGH SEH

no more restrictions tonight
so please dont stop me from drinking
first and the last time alrights?

THANKS!

sidenote: wish the BnP committee the best of luck for
their event tonight. hopefully it would be a blast and
im sure all your efforts would have paid off. JIAYOUU!

2009-12-02T22:07:00.003+08:00

WAIT FOR YOU

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldn't give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more than I can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you

It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, you're still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.

Baby why can't we just, just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it won't be enough

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you

thanks gen for introducing such a superb song to me :D
Elliot Yamin- a great singer with a wonderful voice
do listen to his 'fight for love' and 'cant keep on loving you' as well!

when i first heard this,
the melody at the beginning was just so familiar to me
simply reminded me of certain stuffs and all.. ohwell..

decided not to talk as much today
and my attitude today wasnt at its best i supposed
if i happen to ignore anyone in a way or another
well, i didnt mean to cos' i just needed my quiet moments

OHWELL. MUGGING CLUB IS OFFICIALLY BACK :D
FREE MEMBERSHIP. LONG-TERM BENEFITS.
SO WHY WAIT?! HURRY UP AND JOIN US NOW!

spend 1.5hours in the canteen talking
1hour at the koi pond crapping
2hours at the benches studying
then another 2hours at the canteen chatting

it really has been long since i stayed in school till late like today
and im just thankful work's finally over
i just miss school so much((:

sidenote: looking forward to the day whr u could finally get a good rest,
focus on ur studies, and sort out the mess in ur personal life..

2009-12-01T17:55:00.002+08:00

SUPER-SCREWED-UP-DAY FOR ME

when you're walking to the bus stop,
you realised you left ur pencil case at home

and then while you're on the bus,
you realised you forgot to bring ur lecture notes

*WHAM!*
what the hell was i exactly thinking when i packed my bag?!

and then again, you couldnt even complete a decent page of your test

afterwhich, you realised ur friend forgot about the payment
despite the constant reminder and stuffs

*sigh*

有再多的牵挂都已没有权利表达

2009-11-30T13:52:00.004+08:00

being the girl everyone wants

but is that who i really am?

or am i just trying to please everyone?

LAST 4 HOURS OF WORK LATER IN THE EVENING!
JIAYOUU BAH((:
*ENDURE*

hopefully i'll be able to cope with my studies after that
im really dying already
cui to the max
*sigh*

really tired...

2009-11-29T22:57:00.002+08:00

SILENT PRAYER
.
.
last day of work tmr
*endure*
.
.
AND I WANNA GO SING K!!!
ANY TAKERS?! :D

2009-11-27T19:49:00.006+08:00

Wonder if you still remembered this...

stepped into artbox today

saw this familiar notebook

and started smiling to myself

could still remember that smile on your face

when i picked this up and showed it to you

you felt really happy at that moment and so did i

really missed those sweet little moments we had

and those silly actions that i'd always like to do that makes you smile

and guessed what i did afterall?

picked it up once again and brought it to the cashier

silly me but i just felt like keeping this book for memorial sake

sometimes, fond memories of us pops into my mind randomly

i just couldnt help but look back at those moments

but i clearly know that that's all way back into the past

and it's no longer coming back to me

guess im still trying hard to accustom to life without you

it's really tough and im really trying hard

1 week, 1 month, 1year?

i dont know

i just need more time...

the night at vincent's 21st chalet was fun

till we knocked him out with 15shots of alcohol

i was one of the main culprit for mixing the drinks

and it hurts to see how worried his mummy was

ohwell, i've learnt my lesson

i dont know what i was hoping for last night

slept on the bed hoping for someone to send me home

being taken care of like i was in the past

ensuring my safety even till the very last moment

cab me home, staying with me till im awake,

and then choosing to walk home after sending me home

guess i was really too over-reliant on you in the past

so much so that i was hoping for the same old things now

but it never came

and would never come

not now, not tmr, not in the near future, forever ever..

now,no one's going to take care of me like you've always do

and i can no longer drink freely without getting home safely

cab rides home from all my late nights now will be lonely now

*sigh*

ohwell,

im telling myself that:

im staying strong

and i will be strong

2009-11-26T00:00:00.002+08:00

It's hard to believe in love...

the road just gets tougher
and i no longer like walking home

i really love walking home way back in the past
and it's really a pity to dislike it now
(realised that when i tried walking home just now. damn stupid.
i walked back to the bus-stop after awhile. ugh)
*sigh*

cant be help

things happen so randomly
that i just couldnt help but think once in a while
guess time time time is all i really need
am trying really hard now...

hope these smiles are genuine...

2009-11-25T12:00:00.001+08:00

我盼着你说过的那一天
我不停催赶世界
世界变成了一点点
你的温暖却在蔓延

因为你摸不到快乐的边
我不停对抗思念
为什么地球是个圆
我的心情像一只箭

心动了敞开了舞动的手链
想哭了不在乎流泪的肤浅
回忆也悄悄地消失在黑夜
拴住你的心才是终点

爱过了自由了更懂得感谢
想念了才知道空虚的眷恋
从白天到黑夜爱透明孤单
穿越了心动的界限

我等着你出现

2009-11-22T23:10:00.002+08:00

People just dont know us well enough

DEAD TIRED
MUSCLES ACHING ALL OVER
ENERGY DRAINED OUT
BUT EFFORTS WERE PAID OFF((:

wonder how am i going to survive the whole of this week :((
just pray i'll survive through
i'd probably be dead for ibm test
and my assgn due this tues
*sigh*

seriously losing my grip soon....

2009-11-21T00:38:00.003+08:00

TGIF

have been really busy since work started last sat
i know it's super zuo bo but it's robbing me of all my revision time :((
but then again, at least i've met nice friends at work :D

took the day off at work to help out for dodgeball
and in a way im glad dodgeball is finally over
though the outcome wasnt really desirable
at least i believe the whole comm. did a great job! :D
so yupps! KUDOS TO THE DODGIES, AUGUST, JACKSON and JUNHAN!
and now our meetups would be to have FUN and no more work!
and i must really say dodgies are a group of superb friends!
loving them more each and every day!

had the craziest and longest bus ride ever with baobao today!
2hours plus bus ride from school all the way to eunos
and then from eunos to city plaza :((
but at least baobao got all her stocks ready for her next collection!
im so loving her upcoming collection so much! (and my nice bling bling hairband!)
super late for training but ohwell, haha...
netball just spells love :D
daisy tan league coming up soon..
hopefully i wouldnt feel the stress when captain comes back in dec :((

body's aching like siao :((
the hour plus of vball game with dodgies on thurs was enough to kill me
muscle aches on the back, left arm, thighs and a super big orh ceh!
but ohwell, at least i had fun but im now worried for CV tmr :((
my whole body is aching even further from training today
i just hope i wont disappoint the bbees tmr :((
and hopefully, i'll survive through the entire CV...
got my life saviour-yokoyoko with me in case the aches are really bad((:

finally caught 2012 movie with bbees on thurs night! :D
was super proud with the attendance that night!
superb movie with superb company makes everything superb!
our next outing- bash and pageant!

anw,
JIAYOUU CITY VENTURE TMR BAH BBEES!
BBEES FTW ALRIGHTS?((:

2009-11-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

BBEES

FOD

DODGIES

JIAYOUU FOR DODGEBALL TMR!

FULL STEAM!((:

2009-11-15T23:18:00.004+08:00

5min late for work despite daddy driving me there :((
i totally forgot about the APEC thing that's going on
should have opted for train instead if i'd expected the bad traffic congestion
ohwell...

today's work was so much worst off than ytd! HAHA
somehow all 4 of us kept yawning every now and then
and yawns can get pretty contagious.. haha

but at least we still get to chat
and i've got my daily bread to keep me awake((:

sch from 830-1130 and work from 1-10 can really kill me
wonder how can i ever boost my energy level to handle such long hours!
sometimes it's really good to get busy
but seriously not now
jialat

im having troubles balancing sch and work now :((
just hope things would work out eventually
ugh

i've been thinking through quite alot today
(job too slack liao..nth to do so put on thinking cap! haha)
but anw, as in really thought thru' lots of stuffs in life
and yupps,
things do happen always for a reason
they can be either good or bad as well
but whatever the reason may be, it's all part and parcel of life
we'll never know what holds in the future for us
but God knows it and we'll just be safe in His hands
eventually, what's meant to be is meant to be
we've just got to learn and live with it...

and sometimes i really think i dont know myself well
am i really being who i really am all this while?
or am i still on my journey to finding and becoming the girl i am?
i started thinking of the girl who was in primary school
and then moving on the secondary school, junior college
and finally at her present state in uni...
there's really a major diff at all 4 different stages of life
and i wonder when is it the real me?
and at other point of time, who i was trying to be?
i only knew one thing didnt change, my love for netball
other than that, im just as lost...

brain dead
totally brain dead

ibm assignment cui
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!

2009-11-15T00:19:00.002+08:00

life seems to be sunny today despite the rain((:
guess quite an amount of burden is off my mind now
and that's a pretty good start i guess?
haha

first day of work was pretty good :D
although it was super zuo bo until very boring
but at least i've nice people to work with((:
and it's enjoyable to be able to talk and talk and talk :D
LOL!

love yenyen to the max for coming all the way down just have dinner with me!
LOVE YOU LOADS LOADS LOVES! :D
our new moon movie soon!^^

and im soooo happy today!
cos' this isetan staff thought i just ended my O levels! HAHA! 16years old!
ohkays, so i really look super kido afterall! tsktsk.. nvm i like! LOL!

and the balancing of the statements reminded me of POA. haha
ultimate sians until we were the last staff to leave the shopping mall :((
but nvm, get paid more means more income earned! :D

ohwell
same routine again tmr((:
but this time work is much more enjoyable than private sales :D

2009-11-14T11:21:00.000+08:00

Finally thrashed things out with him
and im thankful that i made the right choice to initiate this meetup
it was a tough decision to make for having this meetup
i was really afraid that i would breakdown
but i guess God gave me the strength to face it((:
somehow i just felt He was there with me...

maybe i should be thankful that he made this decision in my place
i could never bring myself to put an end to everything each time i wanted to

im beginning to face reality and everything tt's placed before me now
but sometimes i just couldnt help but have certain regrets in this whole r/s
since everything's over, guess i should be looking at what's next now
hopefully i'll find myself back in no time
back to the girl right before things even started
i was happy all this while,
but i guess the girl back then was at her happiest moment
so yupps,
i see no point in holding on to something that's impossible...

it just takes time to stop missing those wonderful moments
but rather be thankful for having those wonderful moments once..
thanks alot and i hope u'll cont' to stay strong in life
(esp. ur personal life yea?((: )

and promise me you'll take great care of urself in all aspects
and i hope u'll work ur way out in ur studies, personal life and in God((:

Also,
thanks uncle for taking time out to give me lots of emotional support
and being patient with this girl who made u wait for an hour ytd((:
thanks mel for willing to hear me and out and bring me back to the route
thanks baobao for bringing me to city plaza for retail therapy
and keeping me busy so i wont be thinking too much((:
thanks bbees for all the concern u guys have given me too...

LOVE YOU GUYS LOADS LOADS! :D

and please cont' to stand by me((:
really need that alot! *HUGS*

2009-11-13T09:44:00.002+08:00

it sucks when u cant get to sleep even if u're freakinh tired
it sucks to lie in bed and think about the past
it just sucks to be going thru' all this shit now

the baking cake session at laopo's hse cheered me up a little
but i could never keep you off my mind. damn me.

i missed everything about u
you and ur biting stunts
(it hurts and all i get is orh ceh but that's what makes u cute)
you and ur super tight hugs
(gets a lil' squeezy at times but it makes me feel safe being in ur arms)
you and ur journey home with me right at my void deck
(always after a long&tiring day but it always perks me up whn u're with me)
you and ur forever messy room
(took me ages to tidy up and didnt end up v neat but yet i enjoyed it)
you and ur specially brewed coffee w/ my fave strawberry pokky
(wasnt a coffee lover but ur coffee was the one n only i loved)
bringing lunch over to you and have a lazy lunch together
(just 2 of us but it gives me all the warmth i needed)
sitting down and listening to you play the piano
(it was enjoyable and sweet and mesmerizing)

and the list just goes on....

i guess i never get to eat ur cookings anymore yea?
i was still hoping for ur pasta that u wanted to cook the other day
(rmbed u told me 'scared no chance meh?' when i didnt get to eat it afterall?)
ohwell, not a chance in the future any longer

it's sad when i didnt get to eat ur pasta
and ends up eating justin's pasta yesterday....

i tried telling myself to be strong
i tried cheering myself up and be happy
i tried to moved on in life cos i know u've already done so
but why is it so that im still back to the starting point
crying like baby and throwing tantrums.
cant i just learn to grow up?
damn me!

i just hope i can settle everything tonight
and leave it behind and move on in life....

2009-11-12T11:14:00.002+08:00

first night without you
tell me how could i ever get used to it
i couldnt get to sleep, not at all...
the night was scary

i woke up in the morning
hoping it was just a nightmare i had
i read ur text once more and i knew it was no dream

i took out the letter once more
i read it as each and every word started stabbing me
it's amazing how my tears never fail to run out of supply

all the promises u made never once held
'promises are meant to be broken afterall right?'
if u still rmbed what u've promised me the other time
well, i knew it was an empty promise back then
but i just simply wanted to live in self-denial

im losing myself
dead and gone,
you'd probably not gg to see that old me anymore

i've lost my smile
and i've lost my happiness

i cant bring myself to blame u
i just hate myself for being such an idiot
sorry....

u had probably moved on in life
and im still holding on to this shit like a kid

take care alrights
sorry but i cant help missing and loving u like i always do....

2009-11-12T00:38:00.003+08:00

Lost my one and only pillar of strength
handicapped without a support
dead and gone at my lowest times
feeling so lost without u now
just tell me how am i going to survive through this?

you'd probably think that u made my smile fade
but u hadnt' realise my smile was gone the moment it ended
the old me's dead and gone...

tried to keep myself optimistic
despite all those negative thoughts filling up my mind
guess i've just been trying to decieve myself didnt i?

stupid, foolish, an idiot i may be
but i cant possibly let everything go
sorry...really sorry...

as much as im really hurting from deep inside
i just hope you'll be able to go back to who u are suppose to be
be happy and please take care of yourself alrights
cant be there to give u the special care like i've always done
that's the very last thing that i cant let go
u know how worrying u can really be
so please take good care of yourself alrights?
ur back pain, old injuries, ur right arm and ur eyes
as well as having proper meals as well...
please please take care alrights???

missing you badly
still loving you like i always do...

sidenote: thanks clarence for coming down to hear me out
at 12am in the morning despite ur test tmr.. a million thanks..
i would have been at a greater lost alone at the void deck..
thanks...

2009-11-11T18:45:00.003+08:00

finally had our first dodgies outing((:
fish&co. timbre. dodgies. = :D

finally got my work schedule
and im glad my supervisor gave me off-days on fridays!
that means i get to go for netball trgs even as i work! :D
really great to do something you really love alot((:

dont know how am i gg to settle my dodgeball stuffs
hate it when i know i cant be there when the event is being held
but still, im trying hard to think of a way out so tt i can be there
for at least one the days :((

seriously think im wearing myself out
damn headache and effing sore throat :((

and yah,
i want back my smile soon...

2009-11-10T13:41:00.004+08:00

I need a break from everything, and i really mean EVERYTHING.

Nothing is like the past.
Those moments are gone for good.

Im hoping for fri to be here
Seems like netball is the only thing im really looking forward to

feels like im dispensable, unimportant and insignificant...

being happy was all i ever needed
but i've never thought the simplest thing would have been the hardest
*sigh*

2009-11-10T00:57:00.003+08:00

disappointment
great disappointment
ultimate disappointment

*SIGH*
can someone tell me what to do? :((
so lost that i pray that God would give me an answer *SIGH*

sidenote-tired,exceptionally tired...
can i just sit at a corner and not entertain people for a day...
sometimes it really gets mentally and physically tiring
and throat's effing hurting like shit from all the talking *sigh*

2009-11-07T18:21:00.003+08:00

It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes some tears to make it rust
It takes some dust to make it polished

2009-11-05T19:20:00.002+08:00

LOVING YOU((:

Lovin' you is easy cause you're beautiful
Makin' love with you is all I wanna do
Lovin' you is more than just a dream come true
And everything that I do is out of lovin' you
La la la la la la la... do do do do do

No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring
Stay with me while we grow old
And we will live each day in springtime
Cause lovin' you has made my life so beautiful
And every day my life is filled with lovin' you

sigh
what's wrong with the month of november?
it's only the start of the month
and i've seen 3breakups
unpleasant ones :((
sigh

sometimes i wished i could give them strength to overcome this obstacle

STAY STRONG ALRIGHTS((:

2009-10-31T22:03:00.003+08:00

THE BIG DAY IN 10HOURS TIME! :D

and soon,
my brother would be married
HAPPILY( i really do hope so)

and

dodgeball recce was super fun today! :D

and and

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!((:

sidenote: sad i had to give my halloween party a miss cos'
of all the preparations for my bro's wedding T.T

2009-10-29T12:48:00.003+08:00

thousands of questions running thru' my head
but i never know where to start from

IM FEELING SHITTY
AND I FEEL LIKE CRYING T.T

2009-10-28T22:28:00.003+08:00

when everyone thinks that it would never be possible

i begin to wonder
if there is actually a certain extent of truth in it

i dont want my nice to be taken granted for
neither do i want my naive side to be taken advantage of
i hate complexity and i want things to be as simplified as possible

2009-10-25T21:46:00.002+08:00

HAPPILY TIRED((:

BACK TO STUDYING HARD TMR :((

sidenote-should i rebond my hair tmr?
opportunity cost is half a day of study session gone
which also equals to increasing the possibility of
screwing up my POA test this wed..ugh

2009-10-22T22:36:00.003+08:00

had a great swim this morning((:
but i think i strained my shoulder mucles :((
plus hours of carrying my super heavy shoulder bag+laptop
i hope it gets better tmr for dodgeball and training((:

super sleepy now
after an hour of swimming
hours of studying
hours of walking
DEAD TIRED

NIGHTS WORLD :D

sidenote: MISSES :((

2009-10-21T22:24:00.002+08:00

I WANNA LEARN TABLE TENNIS COS IT'S SOOOO FUN!((:

I WANNA CATCH A GOOD MOVIE
LAUGH MY HEARTS OUT
OR
CRY MY SOULS OUT
OR
SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT

MOVIE KHAKIS WHERE ARE YOU?!?! :((

glad im getting back to my workout sessions((:
mon.tues.wed-run
thurs-swim
fri-netball
sat.sun-REST :D
so please dont tempt me with anymore nice food!!!!

sidenote:
HOPING doesnt give u a definite answer u want
HOPING can give u nothing but great disappointment
HOPING aint realistic at all

2009-10-20T20:24:00.002+08:00

sat there waiting
but it never came

just when u started having expectations
it would only lead to more expectations
and u'll only end up with greater disappointment

QUALITY TIME VS QUANTITY
that's what my friend told me yesterday
i truly understood what he was trying to relate to me
but understanding and putting it forth are two different matters

*SIGH*

p.s.could the days ahead not get any worse than today?

2009-10-16T10:29:00.000+08:00

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It is far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back.Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

2009-10-14T15:12:00.002+08:00

STUDYING AT NP'S LIBRARY NOW((:

finally a change of envt! :D
a day full of laughters and entertainment!
love studying with bbees! :D

IM LOVIN' IT!^^

2009-10-11T00:18:00.003+08:00

Mentally tired.
Emotionally lost.
Losing faith.

When the flame starts to get smaller...
so small that even the slighest wind would extinguish the flame...
just that vulnerable to whatever is placed in front of you...

confidence level check- 0%
faith level check- 0%
happiness level check- 0%

maybe it's just me..........

life's like a stageplay...
we're never who we are...
nothing but a facet...

2009-10-10T01:06:00.002+08:00

Sometimes...
reading self help books do help alot...
especially when it help enlightens you...
and glad to say somehow i managed to understand certain things in life...

LOVE vs FEAR

Sometimes, it feels more important for us to predict
that we're going to be miserable the next moment and
then find pleasure in being right,than to have true happiness
in the present moment. This can be looked upon as an insane
way of trying to protect ourselves. It produces a short circuit
which confuses pleasure with pain.

We often believe fears of past can successfully predict the fears
of the fututre. The results of this type of thinking are what we
spend most of our time worrying about both the past and future,
creating a viscous circle of fear,which leaves little room for
love and joy in the present.

Love comes naturally and is what we should see as a reality.
Fear is nothing but an illusion which we tend to trap ouselves in.
We've got a choice of choosing the former or the latter
and only one could exist at any one time for they dont co-exist

Love is letting go of the fear in us
and by doing so, u've successfuly moved a step closer to
achieving inner peace....

2009-10-05T23:13:00.002+08:00

<3 the specially brewed coffee((:

the best
the nicest
the one and only
that can never be replaced^^

2009-10-03T00:47:00.002+08:00

Being happy is as simple as ABC
having spend great times w/ ur beloved ones
happiness just comes naturally((:

2009-10-01T11:52:00.002+08:00

When negative thoughts start to fill up your mind....

you start escaping from reality
from all the problems that u're facing
and end up deluding yourself...

but at the very end,
it doesnt help solve anything...

*sigh*

2009-09-30T20:57:00.002+08:00

I'VE BEEN MISSING YOU CRAZY...

2009-09-29T21:34:00.000+08:00

LOVE IS A CHOICE,
SOMETHING THAT WE ALL NEED TO DO...

2009-09-26T19:56:00.003+08:00

Sometimes i wonder
what makes me so special
what makes me so fortunate
to be given the best of everything

for once,
i've been given more than i've given
and it's time for me to take a bigger step
and give more than i could...

right from the very bottom of my heart,
im really thankful for everything...

2009-09-24T18:34:00.001+08:00

mummy wrote me a very long note today
read it and didnt know what i could and should do
was really mad and disappointed at myself
for not having done my part as a daughter
and i admit it's my fault for having neglected her
*sigh*

this morning was really a happy one,
had the best companions ever((:

beginning to feel the stress from studies now *SIGH*
think im really going to fall apart soon... :((

2009-09-23T00:08:00.002+08:00

when things happen too quickly,
it makes u wonder if things are going the way it's supposed to be...
and then it makes everything tt has happened feel so unreal...

LOST MY HP TODAY! :'((
*SIGH*

feels so helpless without a hp now......

P.S- huggable bolster((:

2009-09-20T13:16:00.002+08:00

HAPPY GIRL

IS HAPPY

VERY HAPPY

SUPER HAPPY

DUPER HAPPY

UBER HAPPY

COS SHE HAS WHAT SHE'VE ALWAYS WANTED((:

and before i end off,
HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY XIAOHUI!((:
MISS YOU SO SOOOO MUCH! :D

2009-09-15T20:09:00.003+08:00

it's been like 5days since i've last blogged...
have been really busy with lots of activities lately((:

went to JB w/ odac rebels on sat for PAINball.
hahaha. love travelling out of SG w/ friends! SO FUN!
and paintball seriously was fun but scary. LOL.

completed my first ever trialthlon RELAY on sunday!
it was superb and i did my 5K while gen swam 750m and andre bike for 20K!
a whole new experience i must say and i enjoyed it! :D

made a trip down to amk lib to chill today and READ IBM! :D
and i've read an archie's comic once again after dino ages!((:
really love my time spent there!^^

im feeling kind of sleepy again,which i dont know. HAHA.
but ohwell. at least 70% of my energy is back! :D
for the past few days my energy level is like less than half a bar. =/
so yupps! hahaha.

cant wait for my K session tmr!((:

2009-09-09T19:14:00.003+08:00

9.09.09

a special day yet another day just like every other days

ohwell.
lunch is always well spent, bonding w/ the bees((:
and the topic bout laopo's chalet never seem to stop. LOL.
i think we would cont' talking bout this for quite some time =/
hahahaha. couldnt help laughing till my face turned red n ears turned hot!

left for job briefing at 230pm.
was surprised to see shuxin there as well((:
seems like she's thinking of joining sim during the jan intake.
well, guess it's never easy to handle the stress
when 90% of ur friends are moving on to uni n u're not.
at least im glad for ling loves that she's doing a job which she has passion in((:

went window shopping. yes. WINDOW shopping. SAD.
can see but cannot buy. :(( HAHA.
went kino to look for good books.
really been awhile since i did some reading.

2009-09-08T23:09:00.004+08:00

SUSCEPTIBILITY ISSUE

the best tuesday i ever had! :D
ibm has never been as interesting as today!
and if only every tues were like that! ^^

crashed econs lect & thankfully i finally knw whats gg on!((:

finally completed my maths assignment as well! *YAYY*

sports dept meeting at 630pm((:
i think im beginning to love my event mates! HAHA.
and somehow i started talking w/o thinking again.
so yupps, new joke for the night.
EDMUND GAVE BIRTH TO A SON 7YRS AGO!=X

2009-09-07T20:00:00.003+08:00

HAPPY YELLOW 21ST,MY DEAREST LAOPO! ^^

last night was a blast. total blast. :D
u'll never ever get bored w/ all the right companions
same applies to ruben's birthday chalet as well((:

anw,
drinking sessions,
truth or dare which ended up as dare or dare instead,
getting all high and feel the whole world revolving around me,
spending the night away w/ full of laughter and happiness((:
really enjoyed myself alot.

being able to have only 2hrs of sleep before heading for econs lect srsly sucks.
other than that, it's all about fun fun fun and nothing but fun!

anw,
almost died in school today.
i think i seriously looked damn cui today
peili and tiff said i looked as if i was gg to die or smthing. LOL.
i went for econs lect just for the sake of going.
i wasnt feeling too good to listen or anything.
damn. and i kept dozing off.
this is so not right. ahhh.

P.S.confusion prevents me from thinking right

2009-09-05T11:43:00.003+08:00

RUBEN'S 21ST BIRTHDAY CHALET! :D

I MISS CHALETS AND I LOVE CHALETS! WOOTS! XD
did all sorts of funny high speed photos,
did a stupid lame yet funny video,
heart attack and
DRINKING GAME!!!!!!

ohh and the finale before i went home,
BUA-ING OF WHIPPED CREAM ALL OVER MY HEAD! *YUCKS*

the drinking games seriously rocks. HAHAHA.
vodka+orange=sucks
chivas+coke=rocks((:
it was a torture not being to talk for half of the game.
stupid rule that ruben set which tortured us,esp xiaowei. hahaha!
the whole drinking game became damn complicated after awhile but fun.
when xiaowei drinks,me and ruben have to drink
when ruben drinks,jimmy has to drink twice of what ruben drinks
and also,everyone except goderic and xiaowei has to drink.
and also,when desleen drinks, i have to drink also.
and when jimmy drinks goderic has to drink twice of what jimmy drinks
so the whole games ended up me drinking the most. LOL.
alot but still quite little. =/
HAHA. but damn fun lah.

everything rocks except for the cab fare home. DAMN CHOR CAN! :((
24bucks is like WTH! i could have easily gotten a top from MAX&MOORE w/ $5change
ohwell. thats the price i have to pay for not being able to ton. *BLEAH*
cant wait to have more drinking session during tmr's 21st also! WOOTS.

P.S-whipped cream smells like vomit and it's still lingering on my face+hair :((

2009-09-03T15:58:00.002+08:00

STAYING HOME((:

supper last night was FAB! ^^
it seems pretty long since i last saw yl,mummy 'n' daddy
misssssssssss them so so sooooooo much! :D
anw,although i was on the brink of freezing to death,
i insisted on eating my fave MANGO SNOW ICE :D
*YUMMYLICIOUS*

and the best thing was,
mummy didnt nag at me for getting home at 1plus!
uhm, she nagged at me for not sleeping early instead. HAHA.
ohwell. =/

today im practically stucked at home :((
mummy's nagging at me to tidy up my messy messy room today.
and becos' i insisted on tidying in the evening cos' i wanted to do my revision,
we ended up having a dispute. *sigh*
it really sucks when u realise ur parents have lost the trust they had in u.
RAH!

P.S.sometimes u cant help but to cont' falling thru' the endless pit......

2009-09-02T19:09:00.002+08:00

WELCOME BACK, OUR DEAR BUMBLEBEE! :D

COOLIOS!
our yiliang is finally back from nationals!((:
i miss having him next to me for ibm lecture! HAHA.
supper tonight to 'celebrate his return' (thats what jm said.LOL)

anw,
my whole body is aching,esp my arms.
aftermath of 3hours long of training(SLACK ONES =X)
super long never do long passes, abit tiring sia. HEHS.
but ohwell. I MISS NETBALL TRGS so i dont mind the tired part! :D
i love doing all sorts of passes.
i love doing the jumps and 1foot landing.
i love pivoting and i love the DRILLS! ^^
COOLIOS.

and im so happy that im no longer sick! WOOTS!
more K sessions to come! *YAYY*

SUPPER SUPPER SUPPER LATER! YAYY!

P.S.why cant i find any eye candies in school?! AH! SAD! LOL.

2009-09-02T01:02:00.002+08:00

NETBALL TRAINING=SHIOK!^^

finally back for netball trg after so long!
totally lost the touch of the netball. :((
at least i still rmbed ball handling & suicidal shuttle run! :D
but my straight pass seriously damn cui now. :((

comparing e standard of e snrs and mine, totally cui.
guess i've just got to train harder!
i want my SIM SPORTS WINDBREAKER man! LOL.
if not i'll have to wait till year2 to get mine. =/

P.S-cant believed i actually talked for 2.5hours in school today!
totally wasted my precious time which have been used to study! RAHRAH!

2009-08-31T20:10:00.002+08:00

FINALLY A DAY W/ FOD OG! ^^

it has been quite a while since i've hang around w/ them.
have been spending too much time w/ odac and foc.
so much so that i havent had the chance to meet fod.
ohwell. really thankful to all my fod og mates! :D
never once had to care about political issues when im with them!

didnt know chinatown had this 10bucks ktv for SAFRA members. COOL.
maybe i could plan bumblebees K outing there instead of teoheng! :D
10bucks for 5hrs singing+free flow of drinks+1 fake shark fins soup! LOL.
but i would definitely prefer kbox singing system((:

was craving for chinatown's super uber nice stir-fried beehoon noodles
and had that for dinner today! WOOTS. cheap+nice((:

aint looking forward to ibm lecture tmr.
super uber uber sians. =/
cant wait to see my 1st class honours mugger group tmr! LOL.

2009-08-31T00:00:00.001+08:00

when u know things dont happen the way u want them too......

2009-08-29T17:56:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wished i could be more self conscious.
and be responsible for own actions.
guessed i was too used to patting my girlfriend's faces.
so much so that i even cont'ed this habit with the guys.
really apologize to e 2dudes whom i 'patted' their faces today.
(uhmm,ohkays,it may seem as slapping in ur opinions)
but i really didnt mean it. GOSH. really sorry.
i didnt mean to offend u guys.

anw, src first mgm today. wasnt too bad. just e usual fod routine.
hahaha. maybe because it's only the kickstart. so yupps.
nothing much to comment.
im just dead tired.

time for my flu tablets! ZZzzZzzz....

Chris Daughtry-Life After You
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you